@dumbbeezie: Way down on the bottom of the twitter user licensing agreement in tiny font it says "Say goodbye to your family"
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@theshantilly: *glamorously folds laundry *seductively wipes off countertops *slowly bends over to pick up toys *sexily trips over the cat...
@trumpetcake: Spent the day dressed as a bee, gently bumping myself against my neighbor's sliding-glass door. Got the hose twice.
@Jandalize: Forgot to tie my bikini top back before I stood up from sunbathing on the beach. Now I know how to get help carrying my chairs to the car.