@jrdnlk: Ways Ryan Gosling and I are similar: 1. Up to date on our vaccinations 2. I dunno, that's probably it and I'm not sure about that first one.
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@SondraDeeMe: I may be paranoid, but it feels like the world is out to get me. *trips over globe and breaks both legs*
@SufficientCharm: GOD: Let's give her ALL the awesome. "But what if it's TOO much awesome?" GOD: Then we'll divide it evenly between multiple personalities.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: We need to hire smarter people. HR: Why? Me: Is there someone smarter I can talk to about this? HR...
@carlyken: Told my coworker I want a dragon. He said I'm crazy for wanting anything that might set all my shit on fire but he's the one that's married.