@jwoodham: We all deserve friends like the Backstreet Boys. If you ask "am I sexuaaaal?" and don't get a "yeeeeeeah!" in response, you need a new crew.
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@ArfMeasures: [Creation] ANGEL: Ok, bats are done. We just need to decide how they sleep GOD: [on his phone] Hang on ANGEL: [writing] Bit weird but ok
@KKAlThani: I thought I was listening to a Maroon 5 song on the radio when I realized that the radio is off and I need to have my brakes changed.
@PhilJamesson: Computer: Login failed. Did you forget your password? Me: oh shi-- [Cut to my password waiting alone on the side of a soccer field]
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: how do you explain the long gap in your resumé? Me: I fell asleep with my face on the spacebar