@glenna_opt: we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it
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@laurenmacdonald: If I give my dog a toy that doesn't make an unbearably annoying noise she looks at me like I have no clue how to do anything right in life.
@kumailn: When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
@ScottLinnen: All I'm saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we're all french toast.