@Contwixt: We all have that one friend who returns our yacht a little too clean.
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@MarkAgee: "Pres. Trump, how do you plan to respond to this attack on our soil?" TRUMP: OK first, I've seen several people call me Tronald Dump online
@shadonium: Kid: What's a man? Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally , cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom
@hippieswordfish: 'welcome to subway how can i-' ME:*punches counter*WHY DOES THE KOOL-AID MAN CARRY A SMALLER PITCHER OF KOOL-AID 'sir-' M: IS IT HIS PISS
@ibid78: Angel: "I think we can all agree that 6 is enough." God (clearly upset about something else): "NO. GIVE SPIDERS 8 LEGS."