@turtledumplin: We all have that one friend who thinks they can sing...and if you can't think of who, that friend is you.
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@BuckyIsotope: FROM: Harvard SUBJ: Your PhD application We are unable to accept you at this time as "Teaching Squirrels Karate" is too cool for us.
@WeissBrandon: Name the only building in the world with 80,000 stories The library (My 6yo told me to tweet this)
@DiGiornoPizza: Imagine a world without pizza. No, no, stop crying this was just pretend I'M SORRY TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF I'M SORRY
@JKNenagh: Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun. * scans the laundromat and guess whose they are.