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@SufficientCharm: "We are going to Taiwan"
Juan: No, please don't!
@LizHackett: ME: My dog's so happy I'm working from home.
DOG (to camera): Honestly, a heads up would have been nice. I had shit planned today.
@Marlebean: Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what you're talking about.
- "That's exactly what ignorant means."
I don't get it.
@BradBroaddus: My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Now that Fox News is 18 can we send it to Iraq?
@biebersmurf: My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
Rather a few layers.