@Morgan2383Mo: "We are out of oranges" he said, fruitlessly.
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@Hadzilla: No thanks farting robot on the wall I'll use the paper towels to dry my hands nice try though
@mattytalks: She was a fax machine She kept her modem clean She was the best damn printer that I've ever seen
@TheAlexP: [Reporting live on scene] Weatherman: how much rain are you seeing? Me: Christ Gary, all of it.
@Jojo_51213: Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it