@CloydRivers: We broke up, but she said we could still be cousins. Merica.
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@tdwyer618: "Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" "He didn't do his 1st grade homework."
@Carbosly: I like to write all my death threat letters in Comic Sans. I find it lightens the mood.
@GayDeceiver: Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it. I wish I could make this up.
@PaperWash: Can you imagine getting the girl of dream's phone number and her first text to you she spells it "defantely"