@themiltron: we call em houseplants like thats where they belong but its just where we put em thats like if u threw me in the sewer & called me sewer boy
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@TheGladStork: Work tip: if you're going to ask your boss if you can "work from home", don't use air quotes.
@2tickytacky: I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see.
@TheMichaelRock: My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
@JasonLastname: If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him.