@kumailn: We can find water on Mars but we can't something completely unrelated?
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@ThisOneSayz: Thanksgiving prep with mom is great for my self esteem: Why aren't you helping me?? *starts to help* You're doing it wrong! Let me do it!
@Blarebare: Start a slow-clap in a quiet, crowded room. The first person that joins you, marry them. They're your soulmate.
@mean_spice: Torturer: I will break you Me: Do you wear that hood to hide your sadness? Torturer: *broken* ah hell man I just wanted to be a chef