@hellohappy_time: We can only blame SO much on trump. Some things are just Ryan Seacrest's fault.
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@MommaUnfiltered: Just text my husband to tell him he left his phone behind & someone is calling him. And now someone's texting him.
@eedrk: you remember me as the guy who put his arm in the doorway to hold open the automatic door for you in 2009. welll, now i need a favor
@ibid78: I just got an eyelash in my eye and I'm yelling at it cuz it's supposed to prevent this shit from happening like, "YOU ONLY HAVE ONE JOB."
@capricecrane: I bet that Heimlich was just a perv who molested people from behind, and one time accidentally saved someone from choking.