@_mindflakes: We can put a man on the moon, but can we put a lobster in a postbox? Top scientists say: "stop calling here"
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@WornOutMommy: I can't wait to jump on my kids' beds at 5am on Mother's Day, and holler "WHAT DID YOU GET ME?!?"
@daemonic3: Ok I won't subliminally ask any more subtraction problems, but I only did it 6 or maybe 3 times. What's the difference?
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My GF's anti aging cream went bad. HOW DOES ANTI AGING CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?!
@Pandamoanimum: 7am - So tired I could weep. 12pm - I would LITERALLY kill for a nap. 4pm - Is it bedtime yet? 6pm - HOW IS IT NOT BEDTIME YET? 9pm - Perkier 11pm - Hey! Why am I not feeling tired now? 12am - WIDE AWAKE 1am - Reading ‘62 facts you never knew about Harry Potter’ on the internet.