@JimmerThatisAll: We can put a man on the moon but we can't reference any other achievements?
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@TheresNoGodzila: *gets on 1 knee* Me: I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but will you marry me? Her: Please get off my knee
@RidiculousSheri: I'm at my most Disney Princess when I fight with my stepfamily before drunkenly losing my shoe at a party.
@_sweet_ham: My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
@drugleaf: the only proof i have that there is a god is that one time i saw a dude in a "Bazinga" shirt get into a car and drive directly into a tree