@shariv67: We can put a robot on Mars but we can't make a hand rail that goes the same speed as an escalator.
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@zoevsuniverse: 4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: "I never want to do that again."
@juliussharpe: At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one.
@truegritrumble: ME: You wouldn't believe these sparklers I got! SPOUSE: That's dynamite! ME: *waiving around the lit fuse* I know! It's really cool! SPOUSE: *already running*