@TheMichaelRock: We could completely eliminate car thefts by making every car alarm sound like Hillary Clinton's laugh.
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@kendracomedy: Whenever the Starbucks guy asks for my name I laugh and whisper "I'm seeing someone"
@bobvulfov: [car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that
@yobrah_: So if you want to be sure your internet history is deleted, just whisper 'please delete my internet history' into any hole on the computer