@liv_thatsme: We desperately need something to unite humanity. No, not love or compassion. I'm talking about a full scale alien attack.
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@MarkAgee: I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president.
@missekay: People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don't understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.
@DranoRaul: I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Describing the adjective thief to a sketch artist] Sketch Artist: Can you describe what he looked like? Me: Not anymore I can't