@ibid78: "We do not negotiate with Pterodactyls."- President Barack Obamasaurus
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@michaelianblack: Happy Fourth of July. May your emails be gathered and your drones fly forever free!
@rainerfm: I once watched a mime choke to death on a street corner and everyone applauded. For a couple of reasons.
@3sunzzz: [notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?