@ibid78: "We do not negotiate with Pterodactyls."- President Barack Obamasaurus
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@kashanacauley: Can't believe there are so many songs about love and only one where someone welcomes someone else to a jungle.
@1par8head: Daughter text me from upstairs..come here and bring your glasses..that can only mean one thing...we are about to make fun of people on FB...
@InternetHippo: MATH PROBLEM: If you give half of your apple to a friend, what do you have? ME (through tears): A…a friend