@longwall26: We don't have wifi in Tennessee. I just pray my tweets into my phone and let Him (#Christ) do the rest.
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@Neauxpe: A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment. Bros before hoes.
@iwearaonesie: [leaving the restaurant] wife me wife me [wearing 5 Burger King crowns] If they didn't want you to take more than one there'd be a sign
@junejuly12: I wonder if this guy ahead of me in line would mind if I pulled his jeans up for him.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Would you consider going out with a guy a little older than yourself? Her: Well of course I would. Why, do you have a son?