@WilliamAder: We found out today how many people it takes to hold me down for a flu shot.
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@StellaRtwot: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be tweeting." It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch.
@TheTweetOfGod: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But why are you walking around giving men fish? That's weird, dude.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Have kids so you can regularly test the limits of your sanity by watching someone eat a starburst in 26 bites.