@Teowulf: We get it - "Bacardi" rhymes with "party," "bottle" rhymes with "model," and "sex" rhymes with "text." You rappers can stop rapping now.
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@truegritrumble: WIFE: What're the kids doing? ME: Playing lawn darts. W: Is it safe? M: Hope not. W: M: W: Wtf M: Can't afford to send both to college, Jen
@behindyourback: Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.
@writerPT: It's my mom's personal mission in life to save me 20% on all my purchases by clipping out and giving me every coupon known to mankind.
@T_N_Crumpets: Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths "not guilty"] Me: hot milky L: *bangs head on desk* FFS just lock him up