@fightforfood: We get it, cacti, you have great biceps.
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@rachelle_mandik: him: are you going to scarborough fair? me: yeah. him: if you see my ex, ask her to make me a shirt and buy me some land? me: dude, wtf?
@MissWont: It's alright if we're doing it all wrong. After all, we are the first generation to deal with midlife crisis by staring at our phones.
@inpoliteco: If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool.