@tedalexandro: We get it. If your candidate doesn't win in November, you're moving to the whitest English speaking country you can drive to.
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@writerPT: Coworker: You look tired. Did you not get enough sleep last night? Me: Nope. Slept great! But thanks for telling me I look like shit.
@piplips: If I don't introduce you to the person I'm with it's because I don't remember either of your names.
@Cheeseboy22: My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him.
@KyleMcDowell86: Why do u wanna work at Burger King? *imagines killing the Burger King & taking my rightful place as king* "I haven't taken my meds in weeks"