@clindsaysway: We got a tornado warning, and I'm too scared to open my windows. Don't want any sharks in my house.
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@AmandasNotFunny: Sitting in my car eating McD's, and I hear a quiet voice behind me go: "Here, we have The Fat Woman in her natural habitat.."
@numbertze: If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes