@fillthevacuum: We got two inches of snow last night and now I can't find my Smart Car.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING
@PaperWash: Super Mario is so unrealistic. No brother would ever help find his missing sister in law.
@JohnLyonTweets: And the cat's in the cradle so the baby must be at the pet groomer's, this is a terrible mix-up.