@ScottLinnen: We have a ghost. Came home and found the fridge magnets rearranged: "I see dreadful people."
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@KKAlThani: Next time someone catches you talking to yourself, make it worthwhile by laughing, yelling "Good one!" and high-fiving the air.
@TheSharona06: Instead of smiling and nodding through a conversation, try clapping and nodding. People will stop talking to you.
@SteveSuckington: I rented this bobcat to help me dig up my new pool but he won't even hold the shovel. He's just eating all the neighborhood squirrels.
@Adar79Angie: When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."