@a_olivia4212: We have a saying in Germany. It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter.
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@markydoodoo: It's hard to think about mama johns staying home with all the children johns while papa johns are away at pizza wars.
@JustUnstableMe: It's like the people in this restroom don't even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
@TheMichaelRock: If you draw a picture of a butthole on the questionnaire, there's a 95% chance you'll get out of jury duty. Would be 100%. But, Texas.
@QwertyJones3: An opossum is just a regular possum that reenacts the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally.