@alisonforns: "We have literally a zillion binders full of selfies." - Top Secret NSA Memo
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@Jeff_Ross_MD: BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities.
@NakedHangover: What I learned in college: 1. Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.
@BarebakAssassin: In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) "No" means no 2.) "Maybe" means no 3.) "Yes" means maybe