@LADaddy: We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
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@maisonwithapen: Impressing the McDonald’s drive thru people with my music is always a top priority
@joshxhowie: Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.
@ahamedweinberg: 2015. Worse than the death of paper is the death of staplers. Rest in peace you sexy plastic alligators.
@shutupmikeginn: I'm scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I'll run them under cold water for half a second