@LADaddy: We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
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@Karissajem: Listen up, bagel man. We've got a good thing going here so let's not mess it up by you asking if I want the fat free cream cheese instead.
@Brianhopecomedy: "Dadd-" "No." "You don't even know what I was going to say!" "You're wearing your Superman costume and standing beside the ladder. No."
@1CleverClogs: My diet plan is just watching my 400 pound coworker lick her lips and sweat as she describes her dinner from last night.