@HuffPostComedy: We like the way Dwight thinks
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@Smooheed: *walks into room to find toddler stuck upside down yelling for help* "Hold it right there baby, Mommy's just taking a quick picture"
@GrowlyGrego: My 5yo is a pretty good drawer but there's only so many t-shirts you can fit into a tiny person.
@x_xaima: When you go to the movies first thing you need to do is pour a drink in the seat in front of you so nobody can sit there..
@TravLeBlanc: My friend went to a salon and asked them to straighten his hair. So they took out his highlights.