@ElgatoEsmio: We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER
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@audipenny: A snake is what happens when a string goes "what if I was alive and had a weird mad looking head"
@stephenjmolloy: "It's beautiful today. Let's work outside." *5 mins later* "This was a terrible idea." *more bees disrupt the open heart surgery*
@kendragaylord: Me: Compassion is my compass. Him: We've been lost for 3 days and you gave your coat to a bear that looked cold.
@Bratterina: *puts on cloak of invisibility, whooshes past ex, flipping him off "Jenna, that's a hoodie, I can see you" *makes a ghost voice: NoOoOoOo