@AristotlesNZ: We need a weapon that hits something only hard enough to really annoy it, then turns back around & attacks us! -Inventor of the Boomerang.
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@mrtruthandsoul: According to WebMD, I either have the Ebola virus or I just sat on my car keys :/
@robwhisman: if you see suicide squad be sure to stay after the credits. lots of people leave half empty containers of popcorn and you can just have them
@aSapCoolDad: *shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Guys, please, I just need 5 minutes without a question, so I can finish this. 4yos: Me: 4yos: Me: 4yo: Why do you need 5 minutes, Daddy?