@SteveSuckington: We need to keep kids off drugs. It's hard enough to find them without kids buying them too
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@TheToddWilliams: LASSIE: Arf! What's that girl? Timmy's in the old well? L: Arf arf He's dead? You sure? L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash
@mooses_mom_mar: How to decorate for Halloween: 1: Buy the biggest pumpkin you can find. 2: Slam it down on your ex's head. 3: Dress said ex as a scarecrow.
@bourgeoisalien: Holiday tip: remember, you only have a few days left to drop out of people's lives to avoid buying gifts. You're welcome.
@brynnester: I'll never forget my Uncles last words on his death bed "I am your Father" Still doing the Star Wars impressions right to the end