@TheToddWilliams: LASSIE: Arf!
What's that girl? Timmy's in the old well?
L: Arf arf
He's dead? You sure?
L: Arf!
Okay here's a check for $5K
L: ima need cash
@mooses_mom_mar: How to decorate for Halloween:
1: Buy the biggest pumpkin you can find.
2: Slam it down on your ex's head.
3: Dress said ex as a scarecrow.
@bourgeoisalien: Holiday tip: remember, you only have a few days left to drop out of people's lives to avoid buying gifts. You're welcome.
@brynnester: I'll never forget my Uncles last words on his death bed
"I am your Father"
Still doing the Star Wars impressions right to the end
@Mom_Overboard: [looking in the mirror and thinking about how I'm created in God's image] wow God needs to go on a diet.
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