@SteveSuckington: We need to keep kids off drugs. It's hard enough to find them without kids buying them too
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@cbdoubleu: "Are you seeing anyone?" Me: lately I've been seeing this squiggly floaty thing on my peripheral vision. Floaty thing: We're just friends.
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: Where are the kids? Me *turns off router* [from down the hallway] HEYYYYYYY!!!! Me: They're in their rooms.
@CheetoBandito77: *turns on shower* *gets undressed* *checks TL real quick* *floods the entire neighborhood*
@lloydrang: If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you.