@markleggett: We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams.
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@Kyle_Lippert: Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of it's dead friends in your hand.
@briangaar: If a restaurant can afford to advertise on national television, you should never eat there
@TheAlexP: Some people are like 5yr olds, they shake heads in agreement, but you KNOW by the look in their eyes, they have no clue what you just said.
@chuuew: WIFE: Did everyone at work enjoy the cookies I baked? ME: [pretending I didn't eat them all on the drive in] WHATS WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS?!