@shariv67: We only use 10% of our brains because the other 90% is busy regretting saying "You too!" to a waiter after he said "Enjoy your meal."
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@Brampersandon_: WIFE: I got us this new candle ME: sweet. What flavor is it? W: don't you mean 'what scent is it?' ME (with a mouthful of candle wax): What?
@DontTouchMyWine: If we're talking & I start running my nails up & down your arm, I either really like you, or I'm looking for an artery close to the surface.
@InternetHippo: "Do you want to have fun but also get more mad than you've ever been in your life?" - video games