@shariv67: We only use 10% of our brains because the other 90% is busy regretting saying "You too!" to a waiter after he said "Enjoy your meal."
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@InternetHippo: Bad guy (punches me while i’m strapped to the torture chair): Do it! Disrespect women! Me (spitting out a tooth): No
@garrettbarry70: Accidentally changed neighbor to neighbour and now I'm saying stuff like "bloody hell" and "brilliant"