@tastefactory: We really are the most blessed generation. We've had 7 iPhones and 7 Fast and Furious movies.
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@OBiiieeee: Cop: where ya headed? "the gym" Cop: im gonna save you a lot of embarrassment and arrest you "thank you so much, officer"
@OtherDanOBrien: ME: I've expressed this political opinion so clearly, there's no way anyone could misinterpret it. THE INTERNET: lmao challenge accepted
@meganamram: Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name