@wescraw: We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they'll dig the wrong way. It's called thinking ahead guys.
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@sliver_of: I hate it when after installing a new app, it automatically puts it on the home screen. Like no. You have to earn that place. Now sit back down.
@fightforfood: Contrary to obvious physics, you can't attach a ceiling fan to your back and fly away like a helicopter.
@pbear79: Therapist: What's the most meaningful connection you've made in your life? Me: You mean...other than wifi?