@GuyEndoreKaiser: We should just put the White House on airbnb for 3 million a weekend.
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@ericsshadow: At 9 y/o I was obsessed with extraterrestrials & desperately wanted to be abducted. I've changed a lot since then, for instance, now I'm 42.
@LizHackett: "Dammit. I had shit planned today." -- a spider being carried out of the house with a cup and piece of paper
@ch000ch: hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it