@LOsepyan: We should let prisoners take their own mug shots...I shall call it "The cellfie"
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@iGreenMonk: You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.
@TheBoydP: "I have to poop" ~What teenagers say when they don't want to do something you've asked them to do
@DaddyJew: Listening to coworkers try and explain Fight Club to another coworker and all I could think was "we really shouldn't be talking about this".
@MartaEffing: Her: omg, I'm SO happy for you! Me: *shaking head* No, no, no... I said I got 'enraged', today. Not 'engaged'.