@missmayn: We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
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@hipstermermaid: Donald Trump is like the "Scream" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror.
@markleggett: Today I saw a homeless man pick up a brochure for a computer repairer. I guess he's having computer problems?
@Papa_Mex: When a coworker pisses me off, I like to write his name down for 23 boxes of girl scout cookies on the form in the break room