@missmayn: We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
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@truegritrumble: (First Day as an Interior Decorator) ME: I'm not sure this giant cross is right for this space. PRIEST: Again, this is a church.
@samalmightysam: Women can detect even the smallest of lies, but on TV they tell them they can lose 20 pounds in 5 days and they believe it all.
@ibid78: I swear if one more person RT's poetry into my TL I will draw a bath, light some candles, and just get lost in the verse's haunting imagery.
@iAmDelFreaky: Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby.