@calluptome: We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
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@UnFitz: [speed dating] Me: Periods. Her: Huh? Me: Do they go inside the quotation mark or outside? Her: In the US or the UK? Me: Let's get married.
@Spotzwoj: "I don't want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to decipher about how it's your fault." ~ girls
@3sunzzz: H: What is that you're having for lunch? Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*
@online_rat: one time a girl told me she listens to "anything but country" so i played pterodactyl noises on on full volume the whole way to Ruby Tuesday