@TheMichaelRock: We should teach North Korea a lesson and send them James Franco.
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@iwearaonesie: wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink
@LetMeStart: It's only fair that if the TSA should ban over 3oz of liquid carried on a person, they should also ban a person wearing over 3oz of cologne.
@OutOnTheMoors: Since my wish is to be cremated rather than buried, I'd like the legend on the urn to read: "Well done".
@elisemarie91: Remember when parents said "I'll give you something to cry about" & were scared they'd hit us but they destroyed the housing market instead?