@brunopieroni: We shouldn't point out other people's grammar mistakes because one day it will be you're turn. Yore turn. You are turn. Goddamn it.
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@topaz_kell: [job interview] Interviewer: "Do you have any questions for me?" Me: "How strong is the wifi signal in the restroom?" Interviewer:
@spacej_me: Some people have sex to make a baby but I prefer the old fashioned way of capturing a wild baby, and that's how I ended up in jail
@fluffysuse: Just received an email listing 5 ways to prevent divorce. 'Don't get married' wasn't on there. Or 'murder.' Stupid list.
@PinkCamoTO: Me: I got my first TOTD! It's exciting! Him: What's that? M: um, well, it's an imaginary trophy... H: well then I'm imaginary proud of you.