@CakeThrottle: We shouldn't send our trash into space, that's how you get space raccoons
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@BradBroaddus: My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph.
@moutheaters: [kneeling down to watch a worm disappear into a little worm hole in the dirt] godspeed brave little time traveler
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: I’m sorry, I’m just really bad with names. HIM: Hey, don’t worry about it. Do you want to check your wallet? It’ll be on your driver’s license.
@LorieGZ: Getting a snowstorm today. They said it would start around noon, it's now 12:02, so already the meteorologists were wrong.