@trumpetcake: Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward.
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@man_spach: I shut down my computer in the middle of an iTunes update and I think Siri just sent a Terminator back in time to kill teenage me.
@AbrasiveGhost: [Meeting] CEO: as u can see [points to graph w laser] we- BUSINESS CAT:[comes flying across table & just crashes right into a photocopier]
@SamTR7: I just got an email offering "free bible verses". You know, because who can afford bible verses?
@ChristianPlante: Your perfume/cologne should reward someone for getting close, not punish them for being in the same building.