@ilovepie84: Wearing a seashell necklace is a great way to let everyone know how cool you were in 1996.
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@brocketxyz: My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, "I WANT MOMMY," whenever my wife sends me into his room.
@_SingleBabyMama: A watched pot never boils. The same is also true if you forget to turn the burner on apparently.