@ilovepie84: Wearing a seashell necklace is a great way to let everyone know how cool you were in 1996.
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@ClichedOut: WAITER: u can choose between 5 potato options and a salad ME: the 5 potato options, please
@TwatWaffler69: Wife: "they're disgusting, they carry diseases, they eat garbage!" Me: are we talking about your parents, raccoons, or the kids?
@RandiLawson: I feel a special bond w/ ppl that always pop up in my 'May Know' Facebook window. Like u see me,I see u &we've both agreed not to be friends
@torrami: Me: I can't live like this anymore, I need to start eating healthier. Also Me: I couldn't decide between nuggets or a burger so I got both.