@smint: Wearing 'EarPods' is my favorite way of making the rest of the world believe my verbal outbursts are part of a heated phone conversation.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Abusitron: Minister: if anyone objects to this unio- Me: *raptor call* Groom: *raptor call* Guests: *chorus of raptor calls* *Bride gets devoured*
@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: Jesus. Get the kids inside Wife: What's wron- Me: *running* JUST GET THE DAMN KIDS INSIDE [a bee flies off of the lens of my binoculars]