@smint: Wearing 'EarPods' is my favorite way of making the rest of the world believe my verbal outbursts are part of a heated phone conversation.
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@XplodingUnicorn: I told my 2-year-old to find her shoes She cupped her hands & yelled "Shoes, where are you?" I'd help her, but I want to see if this works
@daemonic3: My kid asked for help with her report but if I did it for her she won't learn! So I showed how to google, change name, & print on her own.
@iGreenMonk: Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight.