@smint: Wearing 'EarPods' is my favorite way of making the rest of the world believe my verbal outbursts are part of a heated phone conversation.
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@TheAlexNevil: "Oh sure. Go down bout a mile, left at the store that's not there anymore, & past the big tree. Can't miss it." -every gas station attendant
@KevinFarzad: Before college, I didn't know what I was doing with my life, but now I'm confident I have no idea what I'm doing.
@WilliamAder: There should be a "Life of Pi" TV show, where they throw a different D-list celebrity in a boat with a tiger every week.
@electrolemon: damn demi, your rap battle opponent didn't even try to diss your clothes. what's your secret. [camera pans out to show all-orange outfit]