@LeaMehanna: Wearing high heels and releasing doves at weddings are so last century. I'll be wearing running shoes and releasing chickens at mine
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@buttcrunchy: "honey why is our water bill so high?" *water bill sits there holding a bong* hahahah duuuude i don't know man. DORITOS. DO WE HAVE DORITOS?
@heroinsdemise: "Removing my make up" Or how I like to call it: "Reset face to factory settings"
@FuckabillyRex: I get hit with a lot of folding chairs for someone that's not a professional wrestler.