@LeaMehanna: Wearing high heels and releasing doves at weddings are so last century. I'll be wearing running shoes and releasing chickens at mine
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@food_shoes_life: Bikini season is just around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the Mexican restaurant.
@jwoodham: Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back.
@CharmandBrains: I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I'd resemble a crack addict.