@ImaFlyontheWall: Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats
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@ninjadinosaur1: He thinks the stuffed animals in my room are creepy, but I can't think of a cuter way to hide all those cameras.
@celticrose2312: Man at garage: "Are you claiming this off your own insurance?" Me: "Yes. I don't think the deer I hit had any insurance."
@So504real: Then: Me: I want McDonald's Mom: Do you have McDonald's money? Now: Mom: I want grandkids Me: Do you have grandkids money??