@ImaFlyontheWall: Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VerifiedJayy: My gf said "tie me up and do what you want" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar
@grantgirl2004: A large account followed me to thank me for a trophy through DM, then immediately unfollowed me. It must be exhausting to be Twitter elite.
@GingerHotDish: Daughter: Do you think Freddie Mercury and Edgar Allen Poe would get along? Me: Huh? Daughter: Cuz he's just a Poe boy from a Poe family.