@trojansauce: *wears one gryffindor and one slytherin sock to work to represent the internal human struggle between good and evil*
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@Darlainky: This guy walked up to me and said he knew me from somewhere but couldn’t place where. I asked if he’d ever worked in a liquor store and guess what you guys?
@hannahkimberlee: 13 years ago I ordered an m&m blizzard at Dairy Queen and the lady who took my order screamed “ONE SMALL M&M BLIZZARD!!!” at the top of her lungs then immediately turned around and started making it herself and it’s still the funniest thing that has ever happened to me
@rockymomax: WIFE: I want a divorce ME: is it because I switched our baby out for a better one at the hospital before we left WIFE: what ME: what