@trojansauce: *wears one gryffindor and one slytherin sock to work to represent the internal human struggle between good and evil*
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@AimeeHelene1: *yells at husband* I can't make it fit! It won't fit! Him: Just turn it a little. Me: *screams in excitement* We finished the puzzle!!
@DaddyJew: Son: you have a gray hair Me: it's a badge of honor Son: *looks at head* whoa, you're like some sort of super soldier Me: go to your room
@PJTLynch: Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.